futurespacemom | The roof of the MCA, Monday

Entry tags:

au kids,
flying

The roof of the MCA, Monday

As promised, Hera was going to take Jacen flying. As suggested, she wasn't going to use the Phantom unless he protested the current plan.

She led him up to the roof and over to where Kanan's ship was parked. "This is the Escape. What do you think?"

[Expecting the one!]

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"Maybe not specifics," Hera answered, "but I'd really like to know why you're having a problem relating to him. I know it's overwhelming, but I get the feeling there's more to it than that."

Jacen looked down at the starmap, not quite certain how he wanted to put... well... any of it. Definitely not certain how he wanted to put any of it without going on about the blind Jedi Knight who had given the rebellion the means to liberate an entire world, who had ended his own life to save Hera's. To save his.

"My father," he said, at length, "was... a wolf." He frowned a little. "In that he couldn't be stopped. Even when it killed him, it didn't stop him from doing what needed to be done. Mom would tell me that he never stopped having misgivings about the rebellion. That the cause he dedicated his life to with you wasn't always something he agreed with. But he was somebody she could go to for solutions. Even when he hated it, he'd find a way to fix it."

He blew out a breath.

"I don't know if I see that person in that man," he said, finally. "And... I don't know. Maybe I'm afraid to try to. I'm the legacy of heroes. Me. You don't exactly set a low bar to live up to either, Mom. But what if he really is everything you told me he was?"

Hera put a hand on his shoulder. "He is. He may not be everything I think he could be, but that much he already is - he's with me no matter what, even when he's not sure he agrees. He's good at planning, at knowing what needs to be done. He's amazing. He just hides it well. I don't mean it's something he has to go digging for, I mean he hides. He's always had to hide. Maybe your father let a little of that go, or maybe he made a deeper commitment - everybody changes over time. We're still finding ourselves."

She sighed. "And whatever your legacy is, you're you. That's enough. Don't worry about living up to your parents. I'm sure I've taught you that much, at least."

Jacen glanced at the hand on his shoulder, and then he smiled faintly.

"You might have said, 'Just look at me and your Grandfather' a lot when I wasn't sure about my place in things," he admitted. "But that's different. You're my mom and my hero and my best friend. And my father just seems... impossible. Untouchable. I want to be able to do you both proud."

"Now I don't know if I can live up to that," Hera said. "And I'm pretty sure nobody can live up to 'impossible'. We want to make you proud, too, you know."

"I am proud of you, Mom," Jacen replied, and then huffed out a little laugh. "I almost beat some girl up today at the diner because I thought she was saying rude things about you."

It probably would've ended badly, likely for both kids involved.

"And I was proud of him, too. But he's always been this legend, for me. And now he's... real? He's real. And real is weird."

Real was hard, when half of your history consisted of ghosts.

"Real has a lot more ups and downs," Hera said. "Think of how many people your grandfather's a hero for. Kanan was starstruck when he found out who he was. But you know that's only one part of the story."

She gestured at the Escape. "Before I met your father, he'd been a smuggler. He was working as a bouncer at a cantina. It doesn't take away from the fact he was a Jedi, or that he saved a lot of lives, including mine. All it means is that he gave up a safer life to save them, and that he did it all in spite of what he had to lose. Legends lose a lot of their humanity."

Jacen made a soft little huffing sound. His father hadn't lost his humanity so much as he'd passed most of it on to him, apparently.

"Maybe that's it," he said. "Maybe after all this time, it's just hard to see him there being so... human."

He swallowed.

"But if he is all of that and I let myself get to know him, I'm going to have to leave him behind."

"You left him behind before you ever knew him," Hera said gently. "Get to know him now so you can better carry him with you."

Jacen frowned a little, looking up and out at the vastness of space before them, a star system that he didn't recognize in a galaxy far from home.

"... Do you think you'd both fit behind the pilot's seat?"

They weren't so far out that he couldn't turn back. And he still wanted to show Hera what he could do.

"Well, we might have to get a little friendly," Hera said, grinning, "but I think we could manage."

"I'm going to go back to get him." Jacen turned to give Hera a little smile over his shoulder, and then turned the ship around. "This is his ship? Maybe he knows something about how she handles that we can play with in that asteroid field."

Bonding time.

"He might," Hera agreed. "Or he might be a worse backseat pilot than me. Don't worry; I'll try to hold him back. Want me to call him, or would you like to?"

"Can you? I think I need to take the flight back to nerve myself the rest of the way up to this."

Making up his mind didn't make it easy.

"Sure." Hera gave him a half-hug as best she could without getting in the way, then sat back to turn on her comm and call Kanan.

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The roof of the MCA, Monday

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